Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
