And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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