Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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