Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
