I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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