Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
