we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
