i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize