i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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