I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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