There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
