the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
