I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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