How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
