We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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