so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize