ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
