man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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