maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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