I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
