To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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