Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
