Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
