The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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