I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
