Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
