I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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