These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
