dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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