So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
your thong is hanging out like whoa
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
