awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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