He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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