I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
