I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
