no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
