Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
