Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
These tits shall not be calmed
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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