my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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