We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
