I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
where am i from again
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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