so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
