i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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