Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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