Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
