went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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