So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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