I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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