Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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