But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
