Sry I called you an 8
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
