69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
