Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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