I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
