I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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