I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
