the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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