what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
