Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
