ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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