I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
