At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize